From TheBakersRock…I knew these folks as well, and her tribute is much better than mine could be.  He truly is one of those kind of guys that was as good as everyone says he was.  One of a kind family man, less than 24 hours from starting dental school when his life ended.  Still gets me…

These are some words my dad spoke at a funeral a while ago. Considering the events of the last week or so, remembering Clayton’s wife and kids, I want to share these words with you.

“There are two parts to the mystery of death. The first belongs to the person who crosses its boundary and makes the transition into another step of the eternal progression. For those of us who fear this journey, it is only because we don’t fully understand it. Once death becomes clear to us, it is as if the fear fades as do the shadows with the morning sun. The person who takes this glorious step is relieved from the burdens, trials, and the physical pain and suffering, which mortality deals us. No longer is there concern for the vain things of the world, no longer the fears, the hatred, the confusion, the human emotions which we battle on a daily basis. The spirit leaves the body and basically begins a learning process, a cleansing and a clarification in preparation for the wonderful judgment to befall all of us in due time: a judgment to determine how we live out our eternity. We are also given a most precious gift: our understanding of all the things we forgot when we came to this earth. In addition, we have the special opportunity to recollect all that we did in our mortal probation, all the good and the not so good, the pain and the joy, the events which made us and those which broke us. We behold what we did with ourselves and our tiny span of eternity as a human entity. Then at some time in our state after death, we receive the complete truth, if we didn’t already have it on the earth. Then a most wonderful thing takes place. The standard is given to us to measure how our life fit with the standard given to us by our Father. We compare and we, not doubting, compromising, or rationalizing, judge ourselves. Our judgment is clear and undisputed. Then with that judgment, we take our place in the eternities. And whatever we see is fit for us, we feel comfortable there and will remain there forever. What a marvelous thing. And death is a part of it.

The other part of the mystery lies in those whom the departed one leaves behind. We have the toughest part, because we still have to hang around in this mortal sphere and with all the frailties and weaknesses that accompany it.

Death is a powerful tool for looking inward at ourselves. Once a loved one dies, we begin to ask ourselves: Am I ready? Have I done what I should? When is it my turn? Death is an excellent evaluator. And despite the pain, that’s a good thing. If we never stop and look at where we are, how will we ever know that we are going the way right and are doing the right thing?

We then begin to hug our friends and family a little more, because after we have looked inward, we begin to look outward. We wonder if the others are doing the right thing; we wonder when it is their turn, and cry because death will eventually take us all, and it never, ever gets easier. We choose to gather, to be close, to let down the walls of animosity, fear, hatred. We forgive and forget, because we just don’t want to lose another one of us living souls to this transition called death. We all want to stay around a little longer, to mend those broken fences, bridges, and hearts.

In addition to our introspection and hugging, we have the terrible sense of loss. Rightly so! We have one less person in our circle. The lucky one to go on is missing. We cry because that person is no longer here to make us smile, to make us better people, to help us and love us and nurture and care. No more calls on the phone or surprise visits or bearing glad tidings of some wonderful event. And the more that person affects us the more sadness we feel of the emptiness, the hole left in humanity. It’s like those fluorescent toys when held up to a brighter source of light, gives off more. When the light source is gone, the toy shines a brightness proportional to its donor. Keep in mind that the opposite is true. If we fail to cry when someone is gone, perhaps we did not love them enough. Let us all love one another enough to cry when they are gone.

Then we must stop the tears and the sadness and reflect upon the new state of our departed brother or sister, son or daughter, or friend. They are well taken care of and are not alone. They are in the company of loved ones and friends and lots of new people who are willing to teach them and help them through the next part of their journey. They have left us behind and are looking forward. So we should rejoice for them, show forth our smiles and look forward also. They want that for us too. The veil between our world and theirs is so thin. Although they share a different sphere of existence, they are close to us. That should make us happy and feel good. They never really left, they just moved closer to the “head of the class”.

Death is only a mystery to those who have no vision beyond its threshold. Once the mind is allowed to be controlled by the spirit in each of us, we begin to see something beyond. Our fear is gone and we look forward to it ourselves as long we as have prepared ourselves properly. Carol Lynne Pearson wrote a poem about death. It is called:

God Speaks
Death is ugly? Oh, my children. No.
If only you knew the beauty that begins where your sight fails,
You would run, run, run, and leap into the open arms of eternity.
But sad is a harvest of green wheat.
And, so you would feverishly cling to earth and finish your mortal task,
I merely gave death an ugly mask.