I LOVE how we post SOS on Saturday. Oh well, gotta get a jump on it eh, thanks to Kate and Brillig the FOUNDERS of this glorious tell-all! Here we go with Installment #2. Or Installment #1 if you’re just tuning in…

Fast forward a few years. College. First day of acting class. Not a single cute boy in the bunch. But wait, the door is opening, the girls heads turn to see if it might be someone who would make the semester worthwhile…Perfect. We’ll call him Nate…

I don’t remember him exactly, but he was quite handsome. He had short kept hair, a muscular build and blue eyes. The muscles I could see quite clearly as he had burst in the door out of breath, wearing a white tank top, having just run from another class somewhere on campus. I caught his eye, smiled, and turned my attention towards the teacher. We found excuses to do acting exercises together, but I had just broken up with the guy I thought I was going to marry, who I’d been in love with for two years, (another SOS all together), and didn’t really want to date per se. But hey, a little nookie wouldn’t hurt, right? Finally one day he asked me out. We were both poor students, so we grabbed a bite to eat and drove around for a while, finally stopping at a local elementary school to play in the dark. We scrambled over the jungle gyms, jumped out of the swings as far as we could, laid on the grass looking at stars and then, he kissed me. This time my stomach jumped. It was cute and perfect. We hung out a lot more after that night. He was funny and handsome and we got along famously. So much for not wanting to date. I was always a sucker for good company. He knew how to make me laugh and I was sucker for that too. One time he burst into class with a pitiful look on his face and after a quick hug and a What’s the Matter? He blurted out, “I watched a movie last night and ate a whole Ben & Jerry’s and now I feel like a heifer. By the way, it smells like rear in here.” Queue me laughing really hard.

At some point, he started to get a little serious on me and I realized that perhaps he was into this more than I was…a situation I would get myself into quite often in following years. One evening, with the best sad face I could muster, I told him that I was still having a hard time with the previous break up and that I needed to be on my own for a while. His face dropped and so did my stomach. A feeling I would get too often in the following years. As much as I liked him, and as much fun as we’d had together, it couldn’t go anywhere.

We went our separate ways, ran into each other now and again, and a while later, I laughed out loud when I heard he had won a brand new Corvette on the Price Is Right…right after he did a back flip or a Spread Eagle or something in unadulterated excitement on national television. I laughed out loud even harder when I heard it through the grapevine that my summer fling Nate had decided he too was gay. My friends had a hay day with me. TWO in one lifetime they said. How is it possible that I turned TWO guys gay. Well, my theory remained intact…it was just good for a laugh. Suddenly many of his quirks came back to me. The repeated reference to “feeling like heifer,” the numerous dance classes, the fact that I kept telling myself that it always felt like I was hanging out with one of my girlfriends in a man’s body. One balmy afternoon, we ran into each other at 7-11. He pulled up in his silver ‘Vette, leapt out of the car, embraced me with a squeal, promptly lifted up his shirt to show me his new abs, placed his hands on my shoulders and with the most earnest face said, “MVD. I decided that I’m Bi. I really did have feelings for you. You were pretty much the only girl I would have been straight for.” Ah ha! Theory proven!!

In any case, news travel fast on a college campus, and soon there was talk of Nate and his dating escapades. Nate and So-and-so, So-and-So and Nate. And then one day the grapevine exploded in my ear as I heard these words creeping along it’s tangled mess…Nate and Peter. Peter and Nate. The two guys I had managed to “turn” gay had found each other. As the laughter of my friends rang in my ears, echoed with my own, I heard someone say, “Gee MVD, now you’re pillow talk.”